Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
smell my finger.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
