I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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