I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
