is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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