When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
