I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
