my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
