Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Is it penis luge time yet?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
