what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
