I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
So squirting runs in the family.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
