I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
