it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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