my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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