just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Randomize
