Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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