But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
