Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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