i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
