Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
