whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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