I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
