Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
