i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
