it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
