How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
