You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
