omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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