My brain says no but my pants say off.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
