tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
