Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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