She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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