Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
