dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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