I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
