would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize