Kareoke will never be a sober sport
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
