Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
