She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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