Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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