Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
