office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she smelled like a LAN party
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
All the doctor said was why
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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