Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
