Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
