Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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