You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Drunk is not a location!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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