You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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