I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
