Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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