Porn is love you can see.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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