Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
