You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
