We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize
