a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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