We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize