You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I AM VODKA MAN
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
