I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
