I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
