you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
