woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
