i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
