I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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