my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Come share oat with me in your robe
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize