I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
