omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
